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Do you ever find yourself wondering about the “what ifs” of life, imagining how different choices or circumstances could have set you on another path? We often think this way about things that didn't turn out as we hoped—like not getting into that dream university, missing out on a job, or wishing we'd put more effort into a relationship. But what if we turned the “what if” game around? Instead of focusing on how life could be better, let’s start with something amazing that's already in our lives. Let’s make that our starting point! I encourage you to get out a piece of paper, open a word processing doc, or record a voice memo as you process through the steps below. Think of a pivotal moment or person in your career who made a significant impact. It could be a mentor, a student, a project, or a decisive moment. Rewind and think about how you met or how the turning point happened. Think about the ways (events and decisions) in which this event or meeting this person doesn't take place. Consider the twists of fate, the chance encounters, and the serendipitous events. Imagine your professional journey without this moment or individual. How would your career be different? Reflect on why this moment or individual was crucial. What specific opportunities, insights, joys, or growth did it lead to? How you would feel if these things were missing from your life? Shift your focus: Remind yourself that this is person/event are a part of your life. Allow yourself to feel grateful that things happened the way they did. Is there a way you can pay it forward? Consider how you could share knowledge, mentor others,
or contribute to your learning community.
This simple practice can help shift our focus from what could've been to appreciating what we have. Recognizing the good things in our lives makes us more grateful and fulfilled. It’s about valuing the present, and it can significantly improve our outlook. Note: The practice above is my spin on Mental Subtraction from UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and it is just one of the science-backed practices available in Bold Gratitude.
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