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However, a specific example she shared got me thinking about a work situation that had me feeling “stressed”. At least that’s what I was telling myself without really taking the time and energy to properly identify why I was feeling so unpleasant. Now that I’m reflecting, I realize that I had been assigning this very heavy label of "stressed", but that wasn't actually accurate.

Why does it matter? For me, there are two big reasons I wish I’d practiced emotional granularity during this experience.

1. “But one has to remember that naming doesn’t just describe the world, it creates the world, too.”  —Austin Kleon
   By telling myself I felt “stressed,” I was telling myself that I was strained, that there were too many demands, and I didn’t have the resources to do my job. That wasn’t actually accurate, and mislabeling what I was feeling made the problem bigger than it was. 
   

2. What I was really feeling was unsupported and lonely in the work. If I had accurately identified the issue, I could have taken action to address it. Maybe I would have realized that others probably felt the same way. I truly believe the best way to change someone else's behavior is to change my own behavior first. I could have looked for ways to support and lift up others, not ignoring the negative, but being the thermostat, not the thermometer.

Let's embrace emotional granularity and transform how we experience and respond (not react) to our emotions. By accurately identifying our feelings, we can take meaningful actions, nurture connections, and create a more positive and supportive environment together.

This week on the pod, it's another encore two-fer! 🙌

I'm curating the best of the best, serving up highlights from thought leaders who provide the wisdom and tools to optimize happiness, relationships, and performance. Trust me, these episodes will inspire and empower you to live your best life. And links to their full episodes and articles are in the shownotes.

Next up in the Encore Series are Radhi Devlukia Shetty & Dr. Daniel Amen.

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