Shownotes:
Feeling burned out trying to do everything as a parent? You’re not alone—and you’re not failing.
In this episode, Myriam Sandler, creator of Mothercould and author of Playful by Design, shares a powerful reframe: independent play isn’t about stepping away from your kids—it’s about helping everyone thrive.
We talk about the hidden pressure parents carry, why boredom is a good thing (yes, really), and how to set up play spaces that invite creativity without adding stress.
If you’re craving more breathing room, more connection, and less guilt—this one’s for you.
Thrive Global Article:
About Our Guest:
Myriam Sandler is the creator of Mothercould (@mothercould), a beloved kids' activity and family lifestyle community trusted by millions of families. As a mother of three, Myriam shares engaging, easy-to- follow video tutorials that offer accessible DIY play ideas, parenting hacks, family travel tips, and more. Mothercould has grown to offer family-friendly, problem-solving products now available at major retailers.
About Lainie:
Lainie Rowell is a bestselling author, award-winning educator, and TEDx speaker. She is dedicated to human flourishing, focusing on community building, emotional intelligence, and honoring what makes each of us unique and dynamic through learner-driven design. She earned her degree in psychology and went on to earn both a post-graduate credential and a master's degree in education. An international keynote speaker, Lainie has presented in 41 states as well as in dozens of countries across 4 continents. As a consultant, Lainie’s client list ranges from Fortune 100 companies like Apple and Google to school districts and independent schools. Learn more at linktr.ee/lainierowell.
Website - LainieRowell.com
Instagram - @LainieRowell
LinkedIn - @LainieRowell
X/Twitter - @LainieRowell
Evolving with Gratitude, the book is available here! And now, Bold Gratitude: The Journal Designed for You and by You is available too!
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Transcript:
Lainie Rowell: Welcome Myriam. How are you today?
Myriam Sandler: I'm doing well. Thank you so much for having me on.
I'm excited to talk to you.
Lainie Rowell: I'm excited to talk to you and I'm a follower of your work and I know you've got a book coming out and I love that you're making play more accessible and stress free for families, especially busy working parents. And so, you know, what sparked your passion for this and what led you to write this book?
Myriam Sandler: So I think one of the most common misconceptions about me is that I play with my kids all day. And that's because I have a kids activity account, right? Like, that's, that's normal. If you see me share play recipe after play recipe and activity after activity, you will be like, oh my god, she's the ideal mom.
All she does is play with her kids all day. When in reality, I don't play with my kids at all. I literally only play with them while we make a play recipe and then they're off to the races on their own. And I think that's something that society has like, society and social media has kind of like blended into this like perception , that isn't real, right?
Like somebody told me the other day, they were like, you're the mom I always wish I was. And I was like, You mean my disorganized, overwhelmed, over scheduled mom, is that what you're referring to? And she was like, what? And I was like, well, social media makes me look really, really good. It makes it seem like I play with my kids all day.
And that was the foundation of Playful by Design.
Lainie Rowell: Yeah, I love it. And I will say, I do think your Instagram feed is Not overly polished, overly curated, like, you seem like a genuine, authentic human to me. I
Myriam Sandler: love that. Thank you.
Lainie Rowell: Yeah, because I do think about this sometimes cavernous gap between our aspirational selves and our actual selves.
But I feel like what your work does, and your new book, Playful by Design, does really well is it's like, like, we're real people and we can get this done.
Myriam Sandler: One of the things that we did actually in Playful by Design is that we put in illustrations as well as photographs so that it would be more inspirational not just aspirational because you can see yourself in a drawing on a shelf. You could be like, Oh, I have a bin or I have some books and I have that. But if you see a picture of like this beautiful shelf with all clear bins and like Montessori toys and this and that, you're going to be like, okay, that was really aspirational.
Closed, never do it. So we really wanted this to be a kind of like a guide to raising independent kids and , that was through illustrations and I'm, I'm so glad that we did that.
Lainie Rowell: It came through, it came through.
Okay so sidebar, I just wondered, as you're researching and preparing for your work, I mean, I know you're a mom that was doing this out of like, I am gonna make sure my kids can play independently, and also my sanity. I need to protect my own well being. Was Maria Montessori an inspiration for all this?
Myriam Sandler: So I wouldn't say I pulled inspiration from one place, I really pulled inspiration from my children. And that's something that I always say that is key to creating a system that works for you, is that you should look at your own family lifestyle and your own children's interests and see how that goes, right?
Like independent play is crucial for parents to be able to do what they need to do and for kids to grow and learn. It's both. It's two parts, right? We have structured our children's lives to the T, right? They wake up at a certain time, they wear certain clothes, they go to school at a certain time, they go after school to a certain time, and then we have dinner.
Everything is just super, super, super scheduled. So, when do they play? When do they free play? Which is more importantly. And so that's what I pulled inspiration from. It's like, let me look at my own schedule. And it's like, why are my kids always like, I'm bored, or this, in moments of down time. And that's because it's the only opportunities that I haven't scheduled for them.
That I haven't led the way. There's this one part of Playful by Design that says, You should let your children be the architects of their own play space. And just by allowing them that piece of independence from the get go will allow them to play independently. So, that's where I pulled inspiration from, from my kids, from my family.
And it was very, very helpful.
Lainie Rowell: That's absolutely incredible. So I have two kids. My first kid was at home with me as I'm, you know, working full time. Yes. And that's, I'm sure you've had some of those joys.
Myriam Sandler: It's hard.
Lainie Rowell: It's hard. It's a real struggle.
Myriam Sandler: Yeah.
Lainie Rowell: And my second child, just our family situation ended up going to a Montessori school.
So this was educational for me because I had definitely done way too much of handholding and preparing and what can I get you for my daughter. And then when my son went to Montessori and I would go and, stand on the side and watch a little bit. And I'm like, Wow, this, this two and a half year old just did that?
That's incredible. So I really resonates with me that you're promoting this independent play and the fact that it has a benefit for the kids and the adults is pretty remarkable.
Myriam Sandler: Yes.
The fact that we both have that experience of working full time from home and having young children, like that is, that is much harder than leaving the house and going to work.
You have to create a structure where it's ideally unstructured for you to be able to do what you need to do, get on your Zoom calls finish your papers, like do everything, and your child has the confidence in themselves that they can create a moment of boredom and really come out with something incredible.
And another part of Playful by Design is we have to get comfortable with the B word. It's okay for kids to be bored. It's really important for them to be bored. Because when you and I were kids, we would go outside and we would play. And we would go to the neighbor's house. Or we would literally build forts out of sticks and dirt and anything that we had around us.
And that all came out of moments of boredom.
That did not come from our parents telling us, you know what? It could be a great idea if you got all dirty in the mud and put all the sticks together. Like that didn't happen, right? And that was a moment of creativity. And those moments are when you allow your brain to create those neurological connections where you allow your body to grow in fine motor skills, gross motor skills.
I always say sensory play is the way that my kids learned how to eat with a spoon because they learned how to scoop and pour and transfer all of their rice, all of their Play Doh, all of their sand through play. And that's, it's huge.
Lainie Rowell: It is. I'm going to make a connection to just, when I was in the classroom for years, it took me a long time to actually bring this kind of mindset into teaching, that I don't have to be in control of everything, that it's okay to let them, you know, there was some study done, it's like, how many questions do kids ask before they get to be elementary school age?
And it's like, yeah. Over 300 a day, which you and I are moms, that probably feels low. We're probably like, I feel like it's more than 300 a day.
Myriam Sandler: It's definitely more.
Lainie Rowell: But then you get to school age and it's like, by fourth grade, it just, it just nose dives. And so they're not asking as many questions and they're not getting that.
So I feel like this promoting of independent play and not being afraid of the B word bored, it's in a lot of different spaces. I mean, you can almost even think about it in the workplace, right? It's like micromanaging your employees. We need to think about how can we give people some autonomy so that they can really be creative and helps us out too.
Myriam Sandler: I agree.
And I love that you mentioned that fourth grade. Like threshold, my daughter, my oldest is in fourth grade and I see it with her and her friends and now is when family dynamics shift a lot, right? A lot of families will allow their kids to have technology and some families will not allow any and some of them will have some. So having that dynamic and working through it is really hard.
I Never ever ever put technology TV Anything on a pedestal, right? Because then they want it more. That's with anything, right? You just crave something that you don't have. They've always had access to go to the TV and get that downtime and this and that. But I really have learned, have seen that my kids don't gravitate towards technology because they have alternatives.
And they have alternatives that really interest them. For example, my fourth grader, she's ten. She loves to create like play makeup like movie makeup almost where it's like bloody and like become a whole different person. So I got her a little desk and some face paint and she comes home from school and she goes there.
She doesn't go to the TV. So when people are like, but all my kids don't want to play with their toys, and they don't want, all they do want to do is watch TV.
And TV is designed nowadays to keep people's attention. So is social media. Any sort of technology is so gravitating, and I'm not anti technology. I think it's one of the things in their parenting toolbox that we can have in moments of like, you know what, things are a little chaotic right now.
Please watch the movie while I finish my call. Like that is okay in my book. But if they have all their other alternatives that interest them, they will gravitate towards play. And that will benefit her so much more in the long run. Then going to the TV when she comes home.
And it's also her decision, which I think is also really important there.
Lainie Rowell: Yeah, and I think, going back to what you said earlier, it's like the biggest inspiration for your work is your actual kids, and appreciating that all kids are unique and dynamic, and so we create opportunities for them.
And also, knowing that we have to sometimes give them a lot of exposure to different things, right? I think at any age we run the risk of kind of shuffling them down one road, which maybe is not where they're meant to be. So,
Myriam Sandler: or where they want to be.
Lainie Rowell: Where they want to be, exactly.
So giving them these open ended opportunities is really really helpful. Can you tell a little bit about some of the other benefits of kind of the open ended play, the sensory play, kind of how does that help kids develop things like resilience and creativity and problem solving?
Myriam Sandler: So if you think about creating a play space, right, whether it's a playroom or in their bedroom or a play space outside of the family room, I think it's really important to allow the kids that independence, like I said from the beginning, right, allowing them to have that almost like bodily autonomy from the beginning, right?
It's allowing them to be like, this is what actually I'm interested in. This is where I want to put it because then I'll know where it goes when I put it back. So the benefits come far beyond like we all know make incredible neurological connections. You practice your fine motor skills, your gross motor skills, your life skills like I mentioned before you're pouring you're scooping your everything you can learn in your structured everyday worksheet you can learn through it through play and you actually learn about it much faster than if you were to sit down and practice it out That's something that I learned and it was like, I don't know the exact statistic, but it was like 200 times faster if you learn something through play rather than if you were to like do it on a worksheet or something like that, which I think play is a child's tool, right?
And their play tools are also really important. So when a parent says to me, they don't play with any of their toys and I'm like, well, let's look at their toys. Let's look at their tools, let's see what you have, and let's see if it's doing all of the work for them. Like I, I love a battery operated toy, but some battery operated toys will do everything for you, right?
Where you're just like looking at it. It's essentially a television or a tablet. So I think looking at what you have will make a very big difference in in the development of your child's play. And that's huge.
Lainie Rowell: And again, I bring that to, to my experience in the classroom is, I just feel like my instinct was to rescue and to entertain or to keep engaged.
It's always on me. And I feel like with kids, whether it's in a home setting or an academic setting it really has to be more of this partnership. And we're giving them that autonomy and giving them those opportunities to. It's like a co construct, not a, and sometimes just a they construct, not a me.
Myriam Sandler: Totally. I think play in general is a really great opportunity to connect with children at a level that you will both understand. So when I create a play recipe, whether it's Play Doh or sand or slime or whatever it is, I do it with my kids because they are literally babies. I'll sit them on the counter and I'll hold her hand while she's pouring.
I look back at those videos and I'm like, she is so engaged. Like the level of engagement and awe is incredible. And it's something that I love to do. Right. I love to create, like, who doesn't like to make Play Doh? Everybody likes to make Play Doh if you have the opportunity to. I look back at that and I'm just like, we connected.
She couldn't speak a single word, but we connected in that moment. And as my kids have grown, I have used play as an opportunity to connect with them. We don't need to sit there all day and play with them to be hero mom. 5, 10, 15 minutes of direct engaged time with a child is so valuable and you're like, five minutes.
I'm like, yeah, five minutes. Read them a book. That's it. Because you're both engaged and you both understand each other at the same level. Now it's not five minutes of them coloring and you on your phone sitting next to them. It's five minutes of both of you coloring, of both of you creating that Play Doh, both of you reading and flipping through the pages.
Those moments are gold.
Lainie Rowell: And I hear you on being so intentional, so strategic. Because I think there's a, again, I'll go back to, as an educator, I would prep these projects for kids, like, I was doing so much of the work, and to some extent there's a developmental issue, like, okay, maybe it's not safe for them to do this part, but, but a lot of times I was doing way too much prep, and I hear you saying, like, well, that could be your part of the time with them, is you prep the activity, and then they go do the activity, and then you go to work, or you go to, you know.
Do something else that you need to get done. That is really, really helpful for, again, the adult well being. And it's also good for the
kids.
Myriam Sandler: 100%. I always said Mothercould, my brand is about the mother. It's a lot about the children, but Mothercould. It's about the mother. It started with my Mothercould moment with my moment of, I did this as a parent for the first time with nobody's help, it was me, I did it.
And that was huge. And that's why I always go back to like Playful by Design. Yes, your kids, it's important for them to play independently, but to get that time back and to get that moment of connection and time investment for yourself and your child is just, it's unmatched and there is an easy way to do it.
You don't need to go to the container store and buy 50 clear bins. Like, we don't need to do that, right? Like, we don't need to go on Amazon and buy the perfect, like, we just don't. Yes, it helps. Not gonna lie. It does help because the clear bins kids can see what's inside them. But it doesn't help if you stuff it with all 50 different type of toys in there, right?
There's a way. There's a way and there's a system. And that system is going to differ from you to me. A shelf that works for you is not going to work for me. So I can't be like, this is the perfect shelf, this is the perfect bin, marry them and your life is resolved. It doesn't work that way.
Lainie Rowell: Could you give us some more specifics about the space?
And like, how you organize spaces to really make it so that they're enjoying and they're experiencing what they need to with independent play and then we can go on to be productive and do what we need to do that might not center around our children.
Myriam Sandler: I think sometimes what happens when we're thinking about setting up these play spaces is that we as parents are like the ideal play space is in this room that's like four doors across and here perfect nobody will see the toys what you will see happening is your kids going there and bringing the toys back to a communal space.
Because when our kids are little, they are humans and we crave human connection. That is all we want is to create, create these moments of connection, right? So, maybe what you think that you have in your house is not the ideal space. I would look at your kids patterns and I would say, You know what? One of my daughters really loves to play in her room because she doesn't want, or maybe, You have like a baby and there's a big age gap.
They don't want the baby to play with the small Legos. So, so maybe the ideal space for her is in her bedroom. Maybe the ideal play space for your baby is in a little playpen off of the kitchen.
Like I have a playroom in my house and it's more towards the entrance. And it is ideal for when my kids turn three.
But before that I build literally with one of those like You know, plastic gates, a little playpen in my living room. Does it look nice? No, it doesn't look nice. It looks terrible. That's only for the first year. The second year, it's on a shelf in the, in the same space. The third year, we are working towards bringing those toys back to the play space.
So it really depends on thinking about your family dynamic and your kids patterns and thinking, okay, maybe the console under the TV in the family room, that's off the kitchen might be better used to put some of their toys rather than extra blankets. So that's when you start to create kind of like, I call them play hotspots within the house.
So it doesn't mean all of the toys go there, right? But you have these play hotspots where if I'm in the kitchen cooking, I know my kids are going to want to be near me, let me put them there. Or let's say you do lots of entertaining and your kids want to be there. Hey, put a little discreet shelf, open shelf with a few toys in the corner of the living room.
It'll look really cute. And your kids will be happily playing there, rather than bringing everything that they can into the space. Another play hotspot, again, is the bedroom. Their bedrooms are kind of like the only place in the house where they can take ownership of, in a way, right? There are some households where you have to share a bedroom, like my two youngest share a bedroom.
Or the parents are so structured that it's got to be the perfect wallpaper, the perfect, ideal, Instagram worthy space where you don't have the restrictions. But then you can't come crying that your kids don't play, right? So, I think it's really important to look at your family dynamics and create those play hotspots within your house.
And that would be really, really helpful, to start at least.
Lainie Rowell: What I love that you're sharing is to be so thoughtful about how our lives are dynamic.
So I think that's a really smart thing to be evolving and rethinking our spaces as our family dynamics change.
Myriam Sandler: I think it's important to note that what I want, could be very different from what they want. Mm-hmm .
Lainie Rowell: That's a good point.
Myriam Sandler: Right. One of my children. She doesn't love to be around her two younger sisters all the time.
So maybe I do create a hot spot where it's just for her, right? That's normal. That's part, like, I hated my brother when I was 10. That was just part of it, right? And creating that space and listening to them is really important. Kids are allowed to take space. Kids are allowed to have opinions. And I know that I'm the one who pays for everything, and I'm the one who structures everything.
But I think giving them that importance goes a really long way, a really long way as they get older.
Lainie Rowell: Yeah. Honoring their interests and their preferences as well, not just all about me.
Myriam Sandler: Yeah. And it always takes me back to, I remember, oh my gosh, when I moved into this house, I, I organized, I went to the home edit and I organized it like a queen.
Okay. I, like my pantry looked banking new. It was gorgeous.
Lainie Rowell: Was it rainbow?
Myriam Sandler: Everybody in the house. Of course it was rainbow. Everybody in the house was like, Mom, where's the scissors? Mom, where can I find the rice? Mom, where's the paper? Mom, mom, mom. And I was like, no more! No more! Because I was the gatekeeper of everything in my house.
And apart from all of the mental load of being a mama free business owner, working from home, like, now I'm also the gatekeeper of the scissors? Yeah. No, that can't, that cannot be the case. And that always brings me back to, ok my kids played for five magical minutes and then they made a giant mess, left it for me to clean up.
I'm like, did they leave it for you to clean up because they didn't want to clean up or because they don't know where it goes back? Does that thing that they left out not have a home that is clear to them? You might be like, but the balls, they go there, to the left, on the bottom drawer. It's like I tell my husband all the time when he asked me for something, I'm like, it's, it's, it's here where it's, oh, usually it's, yeah, but I've never looked for it.
And I was like, yeah, no, I under, I understand. We're going to fix that. But it's the same thing with children. If things don't have a clear home. How do you expect them to put things back? I always say your biggest enemy are deep bins. Yeah. Deep bins are a black hole because you just stuff everything in there, you push it into the wall and you're like gorgeous.
But then your kids need to find something or find the deep bin. The first thing that they do is take it out and you dump it all. Yeah. And then they walk away because they're overwhelmed by possibilities. And I think if we can reduce that by simply having shallow bins, hey, that's a win win for everybody.
Lainie Rowell: Yeah, it reminds me of that old saying, form follows function. Like, that's just such an old design principle, but it's so true. Sometimes we focus on making things pretty over functional, and then we get ourselves into trouble. And I think one of the things I really appreciate about your approach is, even when it comes to cleaning up, like, why would that fall on the adult?
That's, that's a great way to burn yourself out, is create all these opportunities, but then not teach the kids and this happens in a classroom to like it's our space. We have to take care of it. And I really appreciate you pushing for that independence there, too, right?
Myriam Sandler: Yeah, it's it's independence all around It's independence for the parents.
It's independent for play. It's independence and bodily autonomy for the child. It goes all around and it all plays together. And I and I think people are like, okay I'm going to create this place because I'm going to put an art table and my kids are going to draw all over the wall and that's where boundaries come in.
And like boundaries are really important. Their boundaries are really important for adults and boundaries are ultra important for children because now they're learning and, and they're going to push the limit, right? I remember with my babies when I would give them like sensory rice, the first time they threw it.
Makes sense. If you give me sensory rice, the first time I throw it. Then I take it away and we talk about it and be like sensory rice stays on the mat or it stays in the bin. Second time, they throw a little less. The third time, there's no more throwing. How do you explain that pattern of a one year old?
It's exposure and boundaries. And I think when you allow a child to understand why the boundary is important, even if they're one, it goes a really, really, really long way.
Lainie Rowell: I love that. What is something that you can't share enough or you haven't had a chance to talk about yet?
It could be something you're super excited about with the book that you're like, I really hope people get this from it, but just something you're like, I would scream this from rooftops if I could.
Myriam Sandler: People ask me all the time, what is the perfect storage solution for X?
What is the perfect storage, just give me the link for the dolls, or give me the link for the blocks, or give me the link for the balls. And I'm always like, well, are your blocks small? Do you have 3? Do you have 75? Are your, are your dolls the LOL tiny dolls, or are they big American dolls? Like, like I need more information.
I can't just be like, here is a box. My toy storage glossary is epic! It's in the back of the book, and it literally guides you through every type of play. So dolls, balls, cars, dress up, etc. And I don't give you one, I give you several different type of storage solutions. So that you can find your ideal one.
And my hope with this book is that you don't go out and buy a whole bunch of stuff. My hope is that you'll be like, Oh, okay, so a box with a lid. I think I can pre purpose one of those. Like, like, you might already have that. And hey, you might need certain ones, right? But maybe you don't. Maybe you don't.
And the Toy Storage Glossary will help you so much through that. Sometimes you just need somebody to tell you, right? Like, just tell me how to fix this and the Toy Story Glossary just does that. It's really cool.
Lainie Rowell: I love that you give options. I remember I worked for Apple for about seven years as a consultant and anytime someone found out I worked for Apple, this was, you know, back when the iPhone was relatively new and the iPads were coming out, and so the first question they'd ask is, what apps should I get?
And I'm like I don't, can you tell me a little bit more about your lifestyle? I don't know, like, that's such a personal question.
Myriam Sandler: I agree.
Lainie Rowell: Yes, it's helpful when someone says, here, get this, but only if it fits your context or situation. So to be able to say like, well, here's some options that could work for you is really, really nice.
I like that you have this appreciation for that we're all different and we all have different contexts and situations.
Myriam Sandler: Yes. Imagine if we were all the same, how boring would that be? And all of our houses look the same and we all had the same stuff. Like that's just, that's a no. That's a no for me.
Lainie Rowell: Well, I really love what you're doing and that you're out there promoting independent play. I do think it's something that our kids desperately need. I think it's very easy, and I'm not standing on a soapbox like I have done this perfectly. Devices are a constant challenge at every age and stage, they are a challenge, but I do think when you're thoughtful and strategic, and I wish I knew some of these things when my kids were little, but it still applies to even them getting older, is how can we create the spaces for promoting that independent play so that they don't just go gravitate towards the device.
Myriam Sandler: Yeah, and that's something that I included actually in Playful by Design is a guide that you can come back to as your kids get older, but maybe when they're babies, you do one thing when they're toddlers, you do another and so on and so forth. There's even like a gaming section, like there's something for every family at every stage.
I was really adamant about doing that because our kids grow so fast, and they grow out of phases this fast, even though we feel like it lasts forever. It's so fast. I look at my 10 year old and I'm like, I don't understand where the adult came from. It just came out of my body. I don't understand.
But I had to include that in Playful by Design. I want it to be something that you come back to as your kids get older and your family dynamic changes.
Lainie Rowell: I love that you have that appreciation. I love that you did that in the book, Playful by Design, your stress free guide to raising confident creative kids through independent play.
So again, thank you for, really promoting the independent play. With my kids I'm promoting independence as much as possible, but also as an educator, I think that's such an important thing. We call it learner agency, and if this is happening at home, and that's happening at school, we're just going to have these kids who are so ready to take on the world and make it a better place.
Myriam Sandler: I agree. I agree. Resilience is really important and you get that through independence.
Lainie Rowell: What are the best ways for people to connect with you in your work?
Myriam Sandler: Well, you can find me many places, obviously social media at Mothercould anywhere. I'm on all the platforms. On my website, you can find all.
Things like a blog, add favorite Amazon finds, play recipes, activities. That's Mothercould.Com and my book is available everywhere books are sold, which is really great at Amazon, Target, Walmart.
Lainie Rowell: Very, very cool. Well, I'm super excited that by the time this is out, it's actually the day it's launching. This is out and people can get their copy now, and then make sure to catch Myriam on all the socials on her website. I see a nice little plaque behind you.
Myriam Sandler: Yes!
Lainie Rowell: What's that for?
Myriam Sandler: I have YouTube! here, I have Amazon up there. It's my little shelf of achievements, I guess.
Lainie Rowell: That's very nice. Remind me what the YouTube one is for.
Myriam Sandler: The YouTube is 100,000 subscribers.
Lainie Rowell: Amazing. Amazing.
So excited.
Well, congratulations on that and all your success and the book that's now out. And I will put everything in the show notes so people are just one tap or touch away from connecting with you and staying connected to you.
Myriam Sandler: Thank you so much. This is wonderful.
Lainie Rowell: Thanks, Myriam. Have a great day, and thank you all for listening.